a disciplined mind

I have been reading through the book of Numbers, in the Old Testament of the Bible for a while now, and though it never occurred to me that this could happen, it is through reading this amazing book that I have been given a new reverence and respect for the spiritual disciplines of the Christian life. Throughout all of my “Christian” experience, the people all around me, and my friends at church, always give the heaviest criticism to the Israelites for how utterly ignorant and stupid they are. Not only do people generally talk about the Nation of Israel in this way, but they speak of the twelve Apostles as if they’re more stupid than a jackass. They get this from the way that the Twelve consistently forget, or seemingly ignore the power and authority that Jesus possesses as God, in the way they doubt Him whenever He claims He can do some miraculous thing, or in the way that they fear any kind of opposition that comes their way, even though Jesus is standing right there in their midst. Churchgoers today point to these particular instances, and puff themselves up in thinking that they are so much more spiritual than both the Chosen People of God, and His Apostles. They read the account of when God has come from Heaven to place Himself on top of the Mt. Sinai, manifesting His terror and shear power in the form of Darkness, Fire, and Terrible Rumblings. Yet people will read that even in the midst of this Awesome Manifestation of God’s Presence, the Israelites decided to worship a representation of God that they crafted with their own hands, instead of the Magnificent Vision before them if only they looked up. They will look at this story and instantly think much of themselves because “they would never be so naive and stupid, because ‘they’re Christians.’” Professing Christians will remember how Jesus’ Apostles were thrown into a panic at a storm they were facing, while even though there was a storm bearing down on them, the God who rose it up in the first place was but feet away from them. Stories like this fill the chests of the majority of American Christianity with hot air called pride, and they don’t even realize that this balloon of a chest is caused by the same sinful error that those Biblical characters unfortunately were destined to make.
Contrary to popular belief, God still chooses to manifest His greatness through miracles and wonders through such works that can be experienced today. These Gems rival the caliber, even, of the terror that readers encounter in the signs He pours out on His creation in the Old Testament. It pleases Him that He would be unchanging in this aspect, in that He has never ceased to be transparent to lowly humans as to how Lofty and Worthy of Praise He is by continually revealing to us, tangibly, exactly why it is that He deserves/has to be worshipped. It is arrogant humanity, who, like the Israelites of old, are blinded by their own sin and rebel against God even while a Cloud of Terrible Fire consumes the air just feet above our heads. Yes, I say “our” because I am guilty of such arrogance. I am guilty of being the chief of those who are ignorant and obtuse to the Marvelous Workings of The King. He Is constantly, intimately working in my life, and I, a worm, instinctively go about digging blindly in the dark soil, when just inches above me, is a light so marvelously extravagant that it would instantly change me from a lowly worm of a caterpillar into the most God glorifying butterfly that ever was. I was once one of those in the congregation who scoffed at the ignorance of the Hebrews, but through the reading of Spiritual Disciplines of the Christian Life and Numbers, I have been humbled, and now I can empathize with the Hebrew people, because now I realize that I am Korah, leading the rebellious nation in their ignorance.
About five months ago, I set out to memorize the book of Romans. I had always heard about how beneficial the discipline of Bible memorization was, but never realized the legitimacy of it until I actually set out to memorize a huge chunk of it. The astonishing rate of spiritual growth, and the substance with which I could apply the growth to my practical living shocked me. I literally saw, as I walked the path of salvation, sin that was once parasitical to my flesh--eating away at it--drop off, dead and shriveled up, to be left on the shoulder as the distance between my Savior and I steadily began to subtract. My spiritual health had never been so free to rejuvenate me, and it was all thanks to the discipline of Scripture memorization. I figured that if I flooded my mind with things of God--completely saturated it with His Word--that my body would follow suit since it is the mind, and its state, that controls what the body does. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. I was being sanctified in every aspect of my life, and I was genuinely excited about it. One of the greatest miracles that could ever take place--the sanctification, and filling of God-centered joy of an utterly depraved soul--was happening right in front of my face! And yet, in full personification of the ways of my ancestors, I became bored with the grandeur of God, and settled for a life of pointless, joyless idolatry. I saw the benefits of what I was doing, and was amazed by it, but for some unknown, and unfortunate reason, I settled for worshipping my own depiction of God, rather than sitting in wonder under the glory that He was pleased to manifest on top of the mountain of my salvation.
This is why the spiritual disciplines are absolutely vital to the Christian life: emotions are fleeting, and one’s view of themselves can be extremely deceitful. I failed to keep up with the discipline because I got to a point of spirituality that I thought wouldn’t be hindered if I took a break from trying to cultivate it. Was I ever wrong! A day turned into two days, and the days turned to weeks, and the weeks to months. I stopped for a breather on the narrow road, and I never caught back up to where I was. Spiritual disciplines are essential because when they are strong in one’s life, they force a person to continue in their walk when they feel like they deserve a break. To discipline one’s self is to pull stone wheels behind you as you tread the soil. The stones can get bigger and heavier as you press on, collecting more and more weight as the y pick up righteousness from the road. Not only do these solid rocks build the man’s strength and endurance, but they also keep him from being tempted to break, because he knows that if he does, the tons of stone bearing down on him will crush him. He will be broken beyond belief if he thinks he is worthy to recline for even a second, because he knows full well that the One Who Is in the lead has the weight of Infinite Wrath riding on the cross He bears on His back. It is the epitome of arrogance when God manifests His Glory for His people to see and be caused to fall prostrate, and in spite of that beauty, create an image that is so grotesque, that it must be burned. Just as the Hebrews fashioned a golden calf at Mt. Sinai, so the man on the road thinks his burden is greater than The Almighty’s. He believes in his heart that he deserves to be fanned and tended to, more so than the One Who saved him from the path leading to destruction in the first place.
Donald Whitney expresses that the spiritual disciplines “are a necessary component for spiritual growth, but not the cause. Just as practicing for a sport or to play an instrument makes you better at what you do, so spiritual disciplines are necessary for growth. But there are some who can practice all they want, and never get any better. It’s by God’s grace that one grows into maturity.”1 I’m almost to the point of tears as I reflect on my own arrogance in the area of discipline. All the neglect can be narrowed down to insanity. It’s an insane thing to know what works, and refuse to put it into action. I don’t know why it happens that way, but I do know this: that the disciplines are crucial. It needs to be an absolutely integral part of the Christian walk, to set up rock solid safeguards to block off apathy and sloth. These safeguards keep arrogance away, and clear up the road ahead for a determined mind--a disciplined mind.