i must not waste it...

What if a soul was condemned to God’s wrath on my account? I can’t think of anything more terrifying than that possibility--and most likely, that has already been a reality in my life. My complacency has probably caused someone to miss out on the gift of salvation: my disobedience is no doubt the thing that scared many goats away from the flock that is being led by the Great Shepherd. It is my prayer that any sheep that went astray on my account would be found by God’s grace, and that I will be sanctified by my Master, so as to attract more sheep to the herd. A wasted life for me, would be to stand before The Father, and be shown how any souls were damned because of my insubordination.
Some--probably “most”--would say that to be crushed by the Almighty Hand is the thing most to be feared; but for the sake of a lost and dying world, it has pleased God to break my heart for the unsaved to the point where I would willingly take on the torment an unsaved soul deserves if it meant their own salvation. The thing that I fear the most, is that someone would be tormented for eternity because I was selfish enough to stifle the growth of the Kingdom by wasting a single moment on something non-evangelical. My life would be such a waste if that happened--a total, utter, and disgusting waste.
I mustn't let this happen--I pray that by God’s grace it doesn’t. The Divine prohibition to stay my members from being used by sin for unrighteousness, and instead be used by God for righteousness’ sake, must become the overflow of my heart if I am to live the UN-wasted Life. It must become apparent to me that every time I sin, I am a hindrance to the Church. The sin of complacency could mean life or death to a potential convert, and the Body of Christ will suffer for it. “Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7. 24-25a ESV).
A few weeks ago, I made a resolution to live life, so that every action I take or pass off, would serve to be only evangelistic. The implications of this resolution are astronomical, and potentially life-changing if I live with the resolve necessary to accomplish it. From an outside perspective, a life lived to this degree would look most like Jesus’, and that quality of living most definitely would be anything but a waste. My life would be beautiful if it looked like that. Every word I spoke would be Christ exalting. The things I ate would be most beneficial. Seconds throughout the day would become Holy in and of themselves. All this, by God’s grace. If it would please Him to pour that much grace into my life, I would be most grateful, and because of Him, I will have lived with purpose driven vigor: a Gospel driven existence: a cross centered fate.
I want to live my life with my face always filthy from having dug my head deep into the dust at the feet of My Dying Savior. The UN-wasted life would be one characterized by a prevailing understanding that Jesus died to save sinners. It must be heavy on the heart of one who has been freed from the slavery of sin, to return to his previous estate, and burden to loose the shackles of his once-fellow laborers. This is why I was created, and I would hope that the rest of my life would be painted with a shade of obedience that can only be given as a gift from The Grand Artist. I must live with a dread that I could waste it.